LOS ANGELES, CA—Multiple sources close to a local wife confirmed Tuesday that she is cold.
Though everyone around her was dressed in seasonally appropriate clothing and didn’t seem to feel like it was cold outside, she declared they were all “crazy” and that only she could tell that it was actually dangerously close to sub-zero temperatures.
She was reportedly feeling “freezing cold” as the weather dipped to a brisk 75 degrees in the late afternoon, proclaiming that it was “frigid” outside. Donning a winter coat, beanie, and scarf, she braved the dangerously low temperatures anyway, determined to make it back to her domicile where she could turn the heater on at the maximum possible setting.
Her husband reports that she often cranks the heater in their car up as high as it will go, no matter what the actual temperature is outside. When the couple sit in a church service or movie theatre, the wife quickly immediately declares it’s “unbelieveably cold” in the venue, and that she must be sitting under a vent or something.
At publishing time, the woman was seen standing at line in Starbucks while wrapped in a NASA space blanket.
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