SAN DIEGO, CA—Local premillennialist man Bob Hartford is still driving a convertible with the top down every day, “just to be on the safe side,” according to sources.
The man drives his convertible with the top down everywhere he goes, no matter what the weather is like, “so as to be ready when the Day approaches.”
“You can’t be too careful,” he told reporters. “We don’t know exactly how it’s gonna go down. You don’t want to be trapped against the roof of an SUV without a sunroof when the Day draws near, I’ll tell you that much.”
While Hartford didn’t used to care too much about whether or not he always had a clear line of sight to the sky, that all started to change during the Obama administration. “When the antichrist was elected to power in 2008, I knew the time would be soon,” he said. “So I started spending a lot of time outdoors and picked up a Sebring convertible. I’m not saying the Rapture is necessarily gonna happen soon, but it’s probably gonna happen soon.”
At publishing time, Hartford was seen sawing a giant hole in the roof of his home.
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