HELL—The hottest circle of hell, usually reserved for Nazis, mass murderers, and serial killers, is now reserved for people who share Minion memes on the internet, sources from the underworld confirmed Monday.
The punitive measure is designed to discourage the sharing of image macros featuring Universal’s incredibly annoying little yellow guys. So far, the announcement seems to have been ineffective, as the nation’s grandmothers and weird aunts continue to post them to Facebook at breakneck speed.
“We’ve got the whole thing superheated, ready for torture,” said one representative. “Anyone who so much as hits the ‘like’ button on a Minion making a sassy comment about gaining weight, growing old, or Mondays is a prime candidate for the new hottest circle of hell. An unironic share of such a post is pretty much a one-way ticket to the bad place here.”
At publishing time, representatives for the place of eternal separation from God were considering adding people who add you to random Facebook groups without your permission.
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