ATLANTA, GA—Tim Tebow made history this weekend by becoming the first former NFL quarterback in history to acquire six purity rings.
While some quarterbacks have managed to acquire one or two purity rings, no one else has even come close to Tebow’s mind-blowing 6-purity-ring collection.
“Tebow is definitely the GOAT when it comes to purity,” said one commentator. “We’ve never seen this kind of domination of the biblical command to keep yourself pure before marriage. Tebow will go down as a legend.”
Some reportedly fear what Tebow will do with this kind of power, with rumors flying around that the Christian athlete can simply snap his fingers and make all fornication disappear.
But no matter what his new powers happen to be, Tebow will be forced to give up his unprecedented six purity rings in favor of one wedding ring soon, according to sources.
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