VALDOSTA, GA—After spending several years wallowing in sin and not bothering to allow the Holy Spirit to change his life in any way, local Christian man Nathan Peterson confirmed his findings Wednesday that having faith without works is in fact “incredibly relaxing.”
“Faith alone saves,” he told reporters. “But after you’re saved, it’s important not to do anything at all to contribute to your sanctification. Can you imagine the kind of work I’d have to put into that? I’d have no time for the latest battle royale game, or idly browsing Facebook on my smartphone.”
Peterson pointed out that faith without works allows for a much easier life. “If I allowed my saving faith to be shown through my works, I’d have to be, like, a lot more disciplined. Like a disciple or something. Dying to myself? That just sounds like a whole lot of work.”
The man has also torn the book of James out of his Bible as he found it “offensive” and “problematic.” “Yeah, James was really harshing my mellow,” he said. “All that stuff about faith without works being dead? It was a total bummer.”
At publishing time, Peterson was binge-watching Breaking Bad a third time.
Babylon Bee subscriber Seth Dillon contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!
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