Woman Finally Off Hook For Forgiving Husband As He Leaves Socks On Floor For 491st Time

INDIO, CA—Local woman Kristi Larson is a careful student of God’s Word. She especially likes Jesus’s emphasis on forgiveness, such as when the Messiah instructed Peter to forgive people 70×7 times.

Since reading that passage, Larson has kept a tally of how many times her husband, David, has left his socks on the floor instead of walking them the five feet to the hamper.

Finally, this morning, he committed the infraction for the 491st time, absolving Larson of her responsibility to forgive her husband for his annoying fault.

“Let’s see, I’ve got to forgive him seventy times seven times, carry the one… HEY, HONEY! YOU’RE DEAD MEAT!” she cried as she realized he had exceeded the forgiveness limit. “I am now allowed to hold this against you for the rest of our lives. Ha!”

David Larson is usually a staunch proponent of interpreting the Bible literally where possible, but since this morning’s incident, he has come out in favor of a metaphorical interpretation of that particular passage. “Jesus just meant forgive me forever, like a really big, unattainable number. I hope.”

The husband and father is also rapidly running out of his free passes for sticking a dish in the sink without so much as a quick rinse, sources confirmed at publishing time.