Jesus' Coming Back

Stubborn Switchfoot Fan Refuses To Move

PHOENIX, AZ—While attending a Switchfoot concert last night, local “mega fan” Hal Wilson stubbornly refused to move, despite frontman Jon Foreman’s constant pleas.

Switchfoot has reportedly always been able to get the band’s fans to move by simply daring them to, often during the encore of the performance. But this time, it didn’t work. Wilson stood like a stone, the lone brave person not moving in a sea of fans swaying and awkwardly dancing around him.

“He asked me to move, he begged me to move, he even dared me to move—but I refused to give in,” he told reporters after the show. “I don’t do what anyone tells me. I’m a prodigal soul. Standing here not doing anything is where I belong.”

“I’m not gonna just move because of a simple dare like all these sheep,” he added. “It’s fine—no, it’s more than fine.”

At publishing time, Switchfoot had debuted the band’s new single, “Double Dare You to Move,” and Wilson was forced to comply.

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