ALBANY, NY—Local woman Heather Brinley surrendered the wheel of her car to Jesus so she could check Facebook for a second, sources narrowly avoiding her in traffic confirmed Thursday.
In a heartfelt prayer, Brinley asked Jesus to take the wheel of her life, figuratively speaking, and also to take the wheel of her car, literally speaking, so she could catch up on any Facebook posts she might have missed over the past few minutes.
“Jesus, take the wheel—I’m just gonna see if I have any new notifications,” she prayed as she whipped out her phone and began browsing Facebook. “I thank you so much, Lord, that you’re so willing to take over the wheel of my life and also the wheel of my car whenever I’m in desperate need, like when I can’t bear not knowing if anyone’s tagged me in any posts during a five-minute drive.”
“Jesus, take the wheeeeeeel!” she cried happily as she careened off the freeway and into a bush.
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