WORLD—In what’s being called an “epic troll,” heaven has announced that Jesus will return just moments before Avengers: Endgame begins playing tonight.
According to sources, His return is staggered to various timezones. He will rapture up His church into glory just as the opening credits begin on the film all around the world, pulling believers away from being able to find out what happens to the Avengers.
“It just seemed like the right time,” an angelic representative said. “And it’s just classic Jesus, having a little bit of fun. Really hilarious move on His part. Good show.”
Christians are split on this decision, with many being excited to go see the Lord and enjoy Him forever in eternity, and others wishing they could have stuck around for another three hours to see the conclusion to last year’s Infinity War.
“Yes, I’m excited about the new heaven and the new earth,” one man said. “But man, if He could have just waited like one day… ugh.”
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