VATICAN CITY—The Pope has decreed that anyone who spoils Avengers: Endgame will receive extra time in purgatory.
While Pope Francis has been a controversial Pope among Catholics, the move garnered instant support among the faithful.
“Be warned: the Lord is watching,” he said sternly to the believers gathered to hear his homily. “There are many horrible sins we may commit in this life, but among the worst is telling people what happens in this movie they’ve waited a decade for. Why would you do that? Why?!?”
Pope Francis confirmed that minor spoilers would result in just several extra months tacked onto one’s time being purified in purgatory before entry into heaven. However, major spoilers, such as the ending, who dies, and who lives, could carry a severe penalty of several extra millennia in purgatory.
“So just don’t do it,” he added, shaking his head.
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