JERUSALEM—The remarkably well-preserved ruins of a first-century Chick-fil-A restaurant, believed to be the first one ever built, were unearthed this week in Jerusalem.
The restaurant apparently catered to early Christians with its delicious chicken sandwiches, friendly employees, and its being closed on Sunday.
“This is an exciting discovery,” said one archaeologist. “We previously thought that Chick-fil-A was a modern addition to Christianity. But not so. This discovery shows that consuming Chick-fil-A has always been a part of the Christian faith, all the way back to the early church fathers.
“When you eat a classic chicken sandwich, you’re communing with the saints through the ages,” he added wistfully before taking a bite of some Chick-fil-A chicken nuggets he had shipped from the States.
Evidence indicates that the restaurant had a drive-thru camel line. Analysis of the camel tracks preserved in the rock layer show that the restaurant often had a long, busy line at the drive-thru window, but was able to somehow work through the line much more quickly than competing restaurants.
Miraculously, vats of Chick-fil-A sauce at the dig site were preserved, retaining their unbelievably delicious flavor through the ages.
“Chick-fil-A sauce aged 2,000 years to perfection is something every Christian should taste,” the archaeologist said.
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