Jesus' Coming Back

Tactical Bible Attachment For Assault Rifles Now Available

NASHVILLE, TN—Claiming demand for the product is “through the roof” among Southern Baptists, LifeWay Christian Resources announced Friday its proprietary tactical study Bible attachment designed to carry one study Bible or two compact study resources securely attached to the barrel of most assault rifles is now in stock on its online storefront.

“It works great for those who want to go out and mow down their enemies, all while having the loving words of our Savior safely fastened to any high-powered rifle,” a LifeWay rep said while demoing the product at a local gun range. “It’s also good for home defense, as larger study Bibles can be used as a heavy-duty melee weapon if things get serious.”

“Check this out,” he continued, firing off several dozen rounds squarely into a man-shaped target a hundred yards downrange, all while reading the Beatitudes recorded in the Gospel of Matthew.

“Blessed are the sharpshooters,” he quipped as he released his magazine and snapped in another one. 

The tactical attachment comes in black and various shades of camouflage and can be customized with a Bible verse or other quote for an additional charge. A tactical melee highlighter is also available.

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