U.S.—A new study found that 9 out of 10 Baptists do not recommend doing the floss.
Of the Baptists surveyed, 90% did not recommend doing the floss dance that is sweeping our nation’s youth.
“Some have suggested there are health benefits to flossing daily, but this is a myth perpetuated by Big Eva,” said one Baptist pastor in Montana. “Actually, doing the floss daily can lead to severe side effects like promiscuity, the development of rhythm, and possible salvation loss.”
A Baptist deacon in Idaho agreed.
“It’s really scary when you see the statistics of how many kids are flossing daily,” he said. “It’s an epidemic at this point.” In place of doing the floss, the deacon recommends standing and swaying awkwardly, with the occasional off-beat clap. “You can’t be too careful.”
The tenth Baptist was discovered to be an undercover Presbyterian.
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