Jesus' Coming Back

Trump: ‘I Have Done More For Christianity Than Jesus’

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In response to the Christianity Today editorial calling for his removal, Trump called the magazine a “left-wing rag” and said, “I have done more for Christianity than Jesus.”

“I mean, the name of the magazine is Christianity Today, and who is doing more for Christians today? Not Jesus. He disappeared; no one knows what happened to him. But I’m out there every day protecting churches from crazy liberals.”

While Trump admitted that Jesus did do some things for Christianity in the past, Trump said he was doing more now and it was more substantial. “I’m appointing judges to help protect religious rights,” Trump stated. “How many judges has Jesus appointed? He says something about judging people in the future, but I ain’t seen it.”

Furthermore, Trump asserted that he “saved Christmas.” “Look what I’ve done,” he said. “You can say ‘Merry Christmas’ now. In fact, if you say ‘Happy Holidays’ and don’t immediately make it clear you’re referring to Christmas, you go to prison. What has Jesus ever done for Christmas? Be born? He wants credit for that? Come on.”

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