U.S.—Christians across America have enjoyed an unprecedented time of blessing, protection, and prosperity since the nation’s founding. Now with a new administration on its way, it seems that all of that is coming to an abrupt end, and Christians are preparing themselves to experience living through the book of Judges firsthand.
“Oh wow! This is just like when the Israelites turned away from God and were met with judgment and persecution!” said local mother Nancy Livingston. “I always wondered what it was like to live through those times, but not anymore!”
“There’s a time for everything. And right now it’s time to be oppressed by a harsh ruler!” said local Christian, James Erlin, forced to wear a gray jumpsuit and yellow cross symbol at all times.
Despite years of the American people living in active rebellion and turning away from God, many are surprised to be witnessing the wrath of God firsthand. Now they will just have to live with the fact that they squandered what should have been a golden age of gospel spreading to all nations and Christian flourishing.
“Honestly I’m surprised we made it this far without retribution from God,” said Jake Gardner, a man who was jailed for suggesting killing the unborn isn’t a good thing. “Seemed like we had kind of a lot of unrepentant sin to go without a response. We were really asking for it.”
Experts predict that this season of judgment will continue for another 4-8 years, or until a new administration can take over and immediately fix everything.
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