Jason Kenney demands U.S. compensate Alberta for being led by Jason Kenney
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney is insisting that after Jason Kenney lost billions investing in the Keystone XL pipeline which President Joe Biden has cancelled, the U.S. government is responsible for repaying Alberta the billions that Jason Kenney lost.
“The people of Alberta deserve compensation for the actions of Jason Kenney,” Jason Kenney insisted in an open letter to Biden. “Jason Kenney put $1.5 billion in public funds into this troubled pipeline and promised a further $6 billion in loan guarantees. The steep price of Jason Kenney’s bizarre unwillingness to recognize basic economic realities should not be paid by Albertans.”
Since it’s still not clear exactly how many billions Jason Kenney has lost betting on a pipeline that was rejected by President Obama and was all but certain to be cancelled if another Democrat was in the Whitehouse, Jason Kenney is insisting that Biden give the people of Alberta a series of blank cheques to cover Kenney’s massive Keystone blunder, as well as any other past or future bonehead investments made by Kenney into a dying industry.
“Jason Kenney has put all of Alberta’s proverbial eggs into the fossil fuel basket, and since you [President Biden] have made environmentalism a cornerstone of your election promises, it’s only fair you pay for the increasing losses Alberta will experience during your presidency,” Jason Kenney continued.
“And, while yes, technically Jason Kenney became premier because the UCP won a majority with more than 50% of the vote and the voters of Alberta are therefore responsible for putting him in charge of the province’s finances, they’re not going to be able to compensate themselves because Jason Kenney keeps losing their money,” Jason Kenney explained. “So they really need outside help. Leadership, if you will.”
Kenney concluded the letter by threatening legal action against the United States for the losses Alberta has suffered, assuming Alberta can find a lawyer who doesn’t mind working for a province that may not be able to pay them because Jason Kenney lost so much of its money.
Despite Kenney’s impassioned plea and belligerent threats on behalf of Albertans, it’s unlikely that Biden will want to set a precedent of financially compensating Canadians for the absolutely terrible decisions of Canadian premiers since that would quickly bankrupt the largest economy on Earth.
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