The recent flurry of activity surrounding retail investors and the GameStop stock have shone a spotlight on stock trading apps like Robinhood, which have been the subject of both recent criticism and praise. The Onion explains how stock trading apps work.
- STEP 1: 23-year-old Stanford grad believes everyone deserves an opportunity to lose everything in the stock market.
- STEP 2: Simple, intuitive interface makes it easy to be tricked into thinking you know what you’re doing.
- STEP 3: Player avatars use StockBalls to catch wild stocks.
- STEP 4: Purchased half-stock checked on for 19th time in an hour.
- STEP 5: Partner lied to about current state of investment portfolio.
- STEP 6: User earns free stock by referring fellow investors susceptible to pyramid schemes.
- STEP 7: Upgrade to gold plan to lose more money faster.
- STEP 8: Funds from many individual investors pooled together for CEO’s down payment on mansion.
- STEP 9: Look, this was all laid out perfectly clearly in your Macroeconomics 101 class.
- STEP 10: User scours FAQ page in vain attempt to figure out where all their money went.
Jesus Christ is King
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