Jesus' Coming Back

Super Bowl to rerun old ads and see if anyone notices

TAMPA, FL – With a significant number of advertisers dropping out of this year’s sparsely-attended , the NFL has announced on Sunday that they will fill the unused TV spots with from previous Super Bowls and see if anyone calls them out on it.

“It’s not like we’re false or anything. All the products shown from last year are still accessible for consumers, minus the ones for Disney World,” said NFL marketing head Sean Norwick. “With the current health crisis, it just seems a lot kinder than running a trailer for a movie that’s not coming out soon, or a car they can’t test drive, or a PSA they’ll just ignore.”

Statistically, this gamble is likely to pay off as recent market data shows the average at-home Super Bowl viewer spends commercials either going to the bathroom, passed out drunk, or yelling at their TV in a blind rage at the referee’s last call. A recent survey also showed that many viewers prefer to watch select commercials on Youtube after they have started trending on Twitter.

If successful, the NFL is reportedly considering a number of other ways to employ trickery as a time-saving measure. These include: using the same clips for their Top Ten Plays reel but in different order; replacing the singing of the National anthem with a dubbed-over version featuring a different singer; and using random letters instead of Roman numerals in faith that no one will be able to factcheck them.

In preparation for the big game, Raymond James Stadium security personnel have already thrown seven cardboard cutouts of rowdy fans into lock-up.

In other news, the CFL was thrown into panic when one of their six sponsors implied they might not pay for airtime this year.

Beaverton

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