Infinitely Precious Child Of Almighty God Obsessively Checks Social Media For More Likes

HARRISBURG, PA—According to sources, a local image-bearer of the Creator of the Universe, a soul who is infinitely precious in God’s sight, is really bummed out that her Instagram post only received 3 likes. 

“What’s wrong with me? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not funny enough?” said the human being who God had predestined to walk the earth and experience his infinite love before the foundations of the universe were formed. “Farmhousechickenmama really has her life together. She gets thousands of likes from her adoring fans on Instagram. Doesn’t anyone care about me or notice me?”

Witnesses reported the young woman fell into a mild depression that morning, in spite of the fact that she has 3 adoring children, a slobbering husband who ogles her every time he passes by, and a mighty God who had left his throne in heaven to shed his blood for her redemption 2,000 years ago.

“I just feel so unloved,” she said. 

Sources say she felt slightly better after 4 more people “liked” her post.