WASHINGTON—Calling the update “long overdue,” the Occupational Safety and Health Administration announced Friday that the agency had revamped the forklift certification process to feature a halfpipe portion. “We want to ensure that all forklift operators are able to safely perform cool kickflips, heelflips, tail stalls, and fakies,” said acting administrator Jim Frederick, who explained that all OSHA-compliant courses would now require students to pass a test demonstrating their ability to shred on 22-foot-high ramps. “With workplace accidents on the rise, we believe it’s more important than ever that operators know how to ollie and when to bail. Forklift operators will be judged on speed as well as style. These new measures may seem tough, but remember, we don’t want anyone ending up in a slam compilation.” At press time, Frederick added all companies that failed to comply with the new halfpipe requirements would be reported to Red Bull.
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