Disney Announces New Movie Telling Sympathetic Feminist Origin Story Of Xenomorph Queen

BURBANK, CA—Disney announced today a new standalone Alien prequel that tells the sympathetic origin story of the Xenomorph Queen.

Part of a slew of new movies that glorify the characters we’d previously thought of as the villains, Queen will show us how the Queen was actually a victim in all this. The plot will show how oppressed the Queen was by the King Xenomorph and how she finally threw off the shackles of the patriarchy to take over the hive of evil, bloodthirsty predators.

“We’ve only heard the story from the perspective of the colonizing, white supremacist space marines — but now, you’ll get to hear the real story about how the Queen was oppressed by the patriarchy,” said a Disney executive. “It’s kind of like Joker, except with a fierce, strong, stunning, and brave female in the starring role.”

“It is our hope that this movie sends a powerful message about the patriarchy and helps us stamp out Xeno-phobia once and for all. Remember, in space, no one can hear the Queen slay!!!”