NASHVILLE, TN—Cancel culture came for the beloved F-35 Stealth Fighter this week after people realized that the 1.7 trillion dollar price tag could have housed the homeless, paid off student loans, or funded 3 or 4 congressional re-election campaigns.
“We are disgusted by the canceling of the F-35, one of the coolest planes ever made,” said god-king Jeremy Boreing of The Daily Wire. “We are pleased to announce that as of today, we are un-canceling the F-35 and are giving it a second life here at our company.”
Sources reported that all 375 aircraft in service will be delivered to The Daily Wire studios in Nashville, Tennessee, having been purchased for an undisclosed price. Insiders at the conservative media company hinted that Ben Shapiro will be using one as his daily commuter to work.
With the constant threat of woke commies taking over the government and the military, there have been increased calls for conservatives to “build their own” militaries to compete with the U.S. military. With this history-making purchase of military hardware, conservatives can sleep well at night knowing that The Daily Wire is patrolling the skies, defending them against the forces of cancel culture.
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