Cuomo Tries To Divert Attention From Sex Scandal By Reminding Everyone Of Nursing Home Scandal

ALBANY, NY—New York Governor Andrew Cuomo’s political career is in freefall after new allegations of sexual misconduct from several women. In a desperate attempt to divert attention from the embarrassing sex scandal, Cuomo took to the airwaves today to remind everyone of the time he killed a bunch of seniors in nursing homes. 

“Listen people– I know there are some accusations against me out there, but can we focus on the real issues?” said Cuomo to a roomful of reporters who had recently received a memo telling them it was time to stop protecting the governor. 

“I mean, there’s this whole thing with New York nursing homes! Wow! Looks pretty bad, huh? I guess some people died! Some of you should forget this whole #MeToo scandal thing and look into that!”

The media dismissed the nursing home scandal as “old news” and decided instead to dig up some more salacious strip poker stories.