Millennials are getting to be in their 30s and 40s, so it’s time for them to start thinking about moving out of their parents’ houses. A few years after that, they may start looking to have kids.
We’ve got the perfect name for your kids, millennials, based on the hottest trends among millennial child-raisers:
- Braxtaidenleigh – It’s got an exotic X, it’s androgynous, it spells “lee” with an “eigh” for that “wow” factor. In a word, it’s perfect.
- Hermionebellakhaleesi – Just mash together all your favorite stunning and brave feminist icons. Works for a boy or a girl.
- Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx – Speaking of exotic X’s, leave a lot to the imagination by just naming your kid a long string of X’s in a row.
- Mason Jar – Name your kid after your favorite rustic decoration. It’ll remind you of your wedding, which you had in a barn.
- Rose – Name your child Rose after your favorite Last Jedi character.
- Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino – Nothing is more iconic for the millennial generation like the Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino. Why not name a kid after it?
- Kombuchoulson – Mysterious, aloof, unique as a snowflake: Kombuchoulson will be the talk of his class growing up, we guarantee it.
- Ross – Name them after everyone’s favorite Friends character. Perfect for a middle child. Boy or girl.
- Stimmy – Name them after that sweet stimulus check you’ve been waiting on for just about their entire nine months in the womb.
- Finally, consider letting your parents name them, since they’re probably paying for them anyway – It would be a nice gesture.
There you have it. Get busy and make some babies! Well, as long as you’re married. And you definitely want to wait until you’re at least 40 before you start thinking about it. You don’t want to be a weirdo!
Jesus Christ is King
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