LOS ANGELES—Expressing enthusiasm about seeing a real turnaround in business soon, Matt Damon reportedly lowered his fee on Cameo to $15 Friday in hopes of getting more hits. “Man, I thought I’d be swamped, but three months on here and I’ve gotten what—three, four requests?” said Damon, who released a long, resigned sigh as he speculated that perhaps he had set his sights a little too high with his original asking price of $25 for a custom 60-second shout-out. “I really thought at the very least I’d be getting one video request a week. I’m famous, right? I put ‘star of The Informant’ right there in my bio. I know I’m no Drag Race star or video game voice actor, but who wouldn’t want to shell out a few bucks to hear me say ‘Happy birthday!’ Ugh. Hopefully this works. I would have had five customers by now, but one guy asked for a refund because he said I did the movie quote wrong. Apparently it’s not ‘I like them apples.’ Whatever.” At press time, Damon added he was even willing to drive out and do in-person appearances at customers’ homes if they would pay for part of his gas.
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