Obama Claims Hulu Execs Killed In Drone Strike Represented Direct Threat To Netflix’s Interests

WASHINGTON—Defending the deadly action as an unfortunate necessity, Barack Obama held a press conference Friday to announce that the Hulu executives targeted in a recent drone strike represented an imminent threat to Netflix’s interests. “As you know, I am not a proponent of violence, except in extreme cases in which the continued prosperity of America’s number-one streaming service is on the line,” said Obama, confirming that the three high-profile business leaders were taken out with minimal collateral damage during the filming of a Hulu wedding reality show. “Despite repeated warnings, these dangerous individuals continued to expand their arsenal of original programming in what amounts to an assault on Netflix’s very existence. While unfortunate, this strike was determined to be the best course of action in helping us prevent an expensive and protracted war for audience share.” At press time, Obama had ended his press conference while refusing to address claims that several Netflix subscribers numbered among the casualties.

The Onion