Study Finds Beckoning Index Finger Still Most Effective Way To Get Americans Onto Dance Floor

NEW HAVEN, CT—Confirming decades of social science research into the function and significance of the gesture, a new study released Friday by psychologists at Yale University found that beckoning with your index finger remained the most effective way to get U.S. residents onto the dance floor. “In experiments conducted across multiple demographic groups, we observed that on 97% of occasions, bending a supine finger upward two to three times while imparting a mischievous glance will convince an American who is not dancing to join others who are,” a paper by the researchers read in part, before going on to conclude that the finger bent in a “come hither” manner was significantly more successful than pretending to reel the person in with an imaginary fishing pole or pull them toward you with a pantomimed lasso gesture. “Regardless of whether the non-dancing subject is in the middle of a conversation or trying to order a drink at the bar, the moment they are confronted with the bent-finger stimulus, they begin moving toward the dance floor. This is true even in the case of reserved individuals who appear overly stiff or aloof and thus, by every outward indication, unlikely to enjoy dancing.” The study also found that a beckoning index finger becomes 100% effective when the DJ is playing Bel Biv DeVoe’s “Poison.”

The Onion