Jesus' Coming Back

ESPN Offers $1 Million Prize For Bracket That Correctly Predicts Tournament Cancellation

Illustration for article titled ESPN Offers $1 Million Prize For Bracket That Correctly Predicts Tournament Cancellation

BRISTOL, CT—Bringing back the popular incentive for another year, ESPN announced Wednesday that it would offer a million-dollar prize for the bracket that correctly predicted the NCAA Tournament’s cancellation. “I love a Cinderella story, so I’m picking North Texas to take down the big dogs with a Covid outbreak,” said contest entrant Eric Brookshire, explaining that he favored teams who were playing closer to home as their fans could more readily travel and facilitate a super-spreader event. “I know most brackets will be busted in round one after the NCAA decides to continue to play in spite of positive test results. You’ve gotta predict the right teams, which round they will reach, and guess which players enter safety protocols first. I’ve got one bracket betting on powerhouses like Kansas and another with all my sleeper picks from states without Covid guidelines. You never know who’s gonna surprise people and shut down the whole tournament.” At press time, Brookshire expressed frustration after his bracket was once again ruined by Michigan State.

The Onion

Comments are closed.

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More