CLAYTON, NC—Deciding it was better to be safe than sorry, local 25-year-old Michael Locke reportedly uploaded a picture of his rash to a different subreddit Friday in order to get a second opinion on a series of bumps that erupted on his arm overnight. “While I’m inclined to agree with the users of r/AskMedical that my rash is ‘pretty fucked up,’ I think it’s only smart to see what the folks at r/beauty or maybe r/pics think too,” said Locke, who added that he wanted to be completely certain his rash was “mad diseased” before proceeding with the users’ suggested treatment of applying duct tape to the patchy inflammation. “It’s not like the AskMedical guys don’t know their stuff—they have loads of karma, and one of them is even a mod for r/CBD—but even the best Redditors make mistakes sometimes. Honestly, it couldn’t hurt to poke around in some of the alternative medicine subreddits as well. I read somewhere once that you can make a poultice out of charcoal and cod liver oil.” At press time, sources confirmed an increasingly confused Locke was stripping down to take nude photos for a user who claimed they were a nurse.
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