Jesus' Coming Back

Upscale Restaurant Boasts Live Piano Lessons

Illustration for article titled Upscale Restaurant Boasts Live Piano Lessons

EVANSTON, IL—Talking quietly over the music as they indulged in the swanky atmosphere, diners at local eatery Rinaldo’s Kitchen told reporters Friday they had come for the award-winning cuisine but were sticking around for the delightful sounds of the Michelin-starred restaurant’s live piano lessons. “It’s nice to just sip a glass of wine, sit back, and lose yourself in a very simple melody as it’s played haltingly and with wrong notes 10 or 15 times in a row,” said longtime patron Jennifer Gembler, who closed her eyes and gently swayed as an 10-year-old seated next to a middle-aged teacher stumbled through a series of scales and arpeggios. “Tonight’s packed because it’s Cody’s night. He doesn’t come on until 6:30, but I like to get here early so I can hear Madison. If you slip a dollar into the tip jar, she’ll play a painstaking rendition of ‘Hot Cross Buns.’ Oh, listen—the teacher’s reminding her about ‘All Cows Eat Grass’ because she keeps messing up the left-hand part.” At press time, a smattering of applause was heard from the diners as a student’s mom joined the duo on stage to read a magazine in the corner.

The Onion

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