Jesus' Coming Back

Report: System Update Means Computer Going To Have To Go Away For Little While

Illustration for article titled Report: System Update Means Computer Going To Have To Go Away For Little While

SALEM, OR—Promising that it would only take a few moments so don’t get too upset, sources confirmed Friday that your system update means the computer is going to have to go away for a little while. Yes computer is going bye-bye, but sources promised computer will come back. Computer just needs a little rest and then it will be happy and you can both have fun together again. Some experts with knowledge of the situation have admitted that computer going away may mean some of the sad feelings will come back, but nothing bad is happening to computer so stop crying, it will be okay. At press time, computer update was stuck at the number 41 for some reason and might need to go to the computer man for a few days or go bye-bye forever just like grandpa.

The Onion

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