Jesus' Coming Back

Jack Campbell spends entire day attempting to return $5 bill to total stranger

TORONTO – backup goaltender and good Samaritan has spent hours looking for the person who accidentally dropped a $5 bill at Union Station in Toronto.

The franchise record holder for most wins as a Leafs goaltender began a frantic search for the person after the money was accidentally dropped on the subway station’s floor.

Throughout his journey across the city in pursuit of the commuter unaware of his missing bank note, Campbell helped an older lady cross the street, cleaned a dirty office microwave, and offered to babysit kids on a Saturday night free of charge.

“He told me he really appreciated my contribution to the team,” said a collector booth operator who had a brief interaction with Campbell. “He said that he was glad that someone like me has his back…I feel so damned good about myself now. What a great guy!”

An exhausted, yet determined Campbell finally met up with the commuter some 12 kilometers from Union Station after successfully performing CPR on another man in cardiac arrest and rescuing a from a tree.

“Wow, I couldn’t believe he went to all the trouble,” said the man chased by the player colloquially known as “Soupy.” “When I asked for an autograph, he gave me the shirt off of his back and signed it because he didn’t have any paper.”

At press time, Campbell will not be wearing any goalie pads at his next game after donating them to a less fortunate hockey team.

Beaverton

Jesus Christ is King

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