Popular New Mask Reads ‘I’m Not A Democrat, I Just Forgot To Take Off My Mask When I Left The Store’

U.S.—A popular new mask has a message for people who see you while you’re walking around or driving about town: “I’m Not a Democrat, I Just Forgot To Take Off My Mask When I Left the Store.” 

This mask is handy for conservatives who live in blue states where they still have to wear masks at Walmart, Target, and the few other stores that are still open after lockdowns.

“We found that many people just accidentally left their masks on, and everyone who saw them assumed they were Democrats, which is obviously devastating,” said one of the inventors of the mask, Bill F. Parton. “Now, people who glare at you for thinking you’re a Democrat will take a second look, read your mask, and chuckle at you for forgetting to take off your mask. They might even give you a hug for being such a cool guy.”

“Thanks for this awesome mask, guys!” said one man in Southern California. “I kept leaving Stater Bros. and forgetting to pull off my mask, and everyone thought I was one of those liberals who live up in L.A. I realized with horror as I got home that I had been wearing my mask for the full five-minute drive home. Absolutely horrible!”

The manufacturers are working on a mask that automatically destroys itself in a blaze of fire the moment you step out of Target, but there are still a few bugs to work out.