Depressed Police Officer Reminds Self That Chauvin Verdict Not Representative Of System At Large

MINNEAPOLIS—Shaken by the guilty verdict delivered in the trial of Derek Chauvin, local police officer Edward Margolin took comfort Tuesday by remembering that this outcome wasn’t representative of the system at large. “Moments like this can be tough, but it helps to take a step back and remember that this is the exception that proves the rule,” said Margolin, confirming that despite the conviction he still believed in the justice system’s fundamental purpose of exonerating police officers. “In these trying times, I remember everything I have to be grateful for—qualified immunity, powerful police associations, massive budgets, and all the officers I know who have done similar stuff to Chauvin and gotten away scot-free, and it starts to make me calm down. It’s important not to let a little hiccup like this make you lose sight of the big picture.” At press time, a cheerful Margolin had fully regained his faith in the system after taking out a baton and breaking a demonstrator’s arm.

The Onion