Zoom call with American friends now depressing in the other direction
Richmond, B.C. ā A monthly zoom call which previously consisted of Canadian man Jalen Montclair consoling his American friends now consists of his American friends consoling Jalen.
āEver since the pandemic started Iāve spent hours saying things like āIām sure you donāt have COVIDā and āTrump canāt possibly kill everyoneāā said Jalen. āBut now theyāre all vaccinated and going to restaurants while Iām still baking bread and asking if they want to play Quiplash.ā
āLast week Tom couldnāt make it because his softball league had started back up. What the fuck?!ā
Montclair is one of many Canadians feeling whiplash as they go from patronizingly comforting their American friends and family to feeling an even bigger sense of envy than they did the time America got the McRib before us.
āLast week my aunt from Nashville said she couldnāt understand how I could handle living in a place where the news is so grim all the time. Iām supposed to be saying that to her,ā said Andrea Dupruis.
āItās not that I want something terrible to happen that would remind Americans theyāre the sad ones, not us, itās just that I donāt not want that to happen.ā
In related news Health Canada is warning all Canadians to unfollow all Americans on instagram before the doom scrolling epidemic grows too severe.
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