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Deal Alert: Any Video Game At Any Price Is Inherently An Incredible Deal Because Video Games Are Great

Illustration for article titled Deal Alert: Any Video Game At Any Price Is Inherently An Incredible Deal Because Video Games Are Great

Whoa, OGN readers are definitely going to want to check this out! We’ve discovered a special deal that gaming aficionados will flip for: Any video game at any price is inherently an incredible value because video games are great.

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That’s right, gamers! When it comes to gaming, money is essentially no object because video games are so fun and cool that they’re a bargain no matter the cost.

Whether you’re shelling out $60 on the latest Switch and PS5 titles, a few bucks on popular indie games like Stardew Valley, or even five grand on a rare, vintage Gauntlet cartridge for the Atari 2600, they’re all priced way, way below what they’re worth when you consider that they are video games, and that video games are exciting, and that you there’s no pricepoint at which that ceases to be true.

Take 2019’s Shadow Of The Tomb Raider, which retails at $19.99. This is a great price for a video game. But it could also cost $8 million or $700 or $3 or even $17,000, and this would still be an unbelievable deal given that you would now own a new video game. This is a video game you can play, by the way.

Remember gamers, possessions are fleeting, but the joy of gaming is forever, so go into debt, sell your car, empty out your bank account, take out a second mortgage on your home, or just spend a few hundred dollars a year on video games. It doesn’t matter. As long as you are acquiring more and more video games, month after month, for the rest of your life, you’re taking advantage of this amazing opportunity to own the absolute miracle that is video games.

And, hey, if you end up without shelter or a place to sleep because of all the amazing gaming experiences you’ve purchased, you can always haul your collection of video games to the local YMCA, taking whatever armfuls of consoles and game cases that you can tear away from the repo guys. Just make sure your new bed has an electric outlet nearby and a decent internet connection so you can keep enjoying your new games your heart’s content!

So act quickly, gamers, not because this deal is going anywhere, but because every minute you spend on something else is time wasted not playing video games, the greatest deal on God’s green Earth!

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Happy shopping, and happy gaming!

The Onion

Jesus Christ is King

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