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Devastated Man Questions How Economy Recovering From Pandemic If He Only Made $4.1 Million In Q1

Illustration for article titled Devastated Man Questions How Economy Recovering From Pandemic If He Only Made $4.1 Million In Q1

NEW YORK—Confused by the growing optimism when his rate of return was still suffering so much, devastated man Scott Buford questioned Friday how the economy could be recovering from the pandemic if he only made $4.1 million in Q1. “They say the economy is starting to boom in the wake of the Covid-19 pandemic, but I just don’t see how that’s possible when I made a measly $4.1 million in the first quarter of the fiscal year,” said a despondent Buford, who was struggling to live from monthly dividend payment to monthly dividend payment. “Sometimes I lay awake at night worried that I might have to sell my waterfront villa in the South of France. I mean, you can’t just wave a magic wand and expect people’s net worth to go back to compounding by 25% year over year.” At press time, a desperate Buford was forced to take out a loan just to make payments on his superyacht.

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