Jesus' Coming Back

Arena DJ Overwhelmed By Godlike Power After Getting Fans To Snap Along To ‘Addams Family’ Theme Song On Command

Illustration for article titled Arena DJ Overwhelmed By Godlike Power After Getting Fans To Snap Along To ‘Addams Family’ Theme Song On Command

PHILADELPHIA—Admitting that he was unsure how to harness his new abilities, Wells Fargo Center DJ Levi Ellington was overwhelmed Thursday by his godlike power after getting fans to snap along to The Addams Family theme song on command. “They clap when I say clap, they stomp when I say stomp, what won’t they do?” said Ellington, whose hands shivered with nervous uncertainly while he weighed which song to play next. “I asked them to chant ‘defense,’ and they did exactly as I decreed. I could play anything, even the ‘Hokie Pokey,’ and they’d be eating out of the palm of my hand. With one simple shift of this slider, I could get them out of their seats and doing the ‘Y.M.C.A.’ dance in no time.” At press time, Ellington was rapidly spiraling after Sixers fans ignored his medley of Montell Jordan hits.

The Onion

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