Middle Easterners Run For Bomb Shelters After Learning U.S. Suffering Oil Shortages

MIDDLE EAST—Innocent civilians around the Middle East scrambled for their bomb shelters after hearing the news of a gasoline crisis in the United States.

“They’re running out of gasoline? We’re in danger! Ruuuun!!!” shouted one man in Syria as he grabbed his wife’s hand and urged his kids to run into their bomb shelter. Built during the Obama administration, the shelter saved their lives more than a few times. Though it wasn’t used as much during the Trump administration, the shelter has started to come in handy more now that Biden is in office.

And they couldn’t be more thankful to have the underground shelter now that the U.S. is having gasoline distribution problems.

“Every time we catch a whiff of any kind of oil, gasoline, or other fuel problems in the U.S., we sound the alarm in our little village,” said another man in Iran. “It’s the smart thing to do — you can’t be too careful. Yes, we’re glad that a woman of color is finally in the White House, and we’re really proud of that kind of progress. But a bomb is a bomb, and we can’t take our chances.”