Jesus' Coming Back

‘Oh My God, Is That Seriously What My Voice Sounds Like?’ Says Humiliated J. Cole After Listening To New Album

Illustration for article titled ‘Oh My God, Is That Seriously What My Voice Sounds Like?’ Says Humiliated J. Cole After Listening To New Album

FAYETTEVILLE, NC—Wondering if it was too late to cancel the album rollout, a visibly humiliated J. Cole listened to The Off-Season Friday and asked, “Oh my God, is that seriously what my voice sounds like?” “I can’t believe y’all let me record a whole project without telling me to fix this,” said Cole, who assumed his voice sounded “at least” two octaves lower, asking his sound engineers if they could apply effects to alter it. “Is this what people think I sound like? It’s just way more nasally than I thought. Jesus, I’m basically whining my way through all these tracks. I sent a few of these to Jay-Z. He’s gonna think I’m an asshole. Why didn’t I add a few features to break this up?” At press time, J.Cole was panicking after realizing that his production on the album was off-key.

The Onion

Jesus Christ is King

Comments are closed.

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More