KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—Tossing the garment on a piece of rubble so it would look like an honest accident, U.S. military leaders left a scarf behind on their way out of the country Tuesday so they would have an excuse to go back later. “We just want a little reason to pop back in without looking too pathetic,” said General Austin Scott Miller, who noted that the military had used the exact same strategy to great effect in both Korea and Iraq. “We made sure to wear it around so everyone in Afghanistan doesn’t think we were just making this up. But if we show up without an excuse like this down the line, they might start to get suspicious. Now we can just roll up in 2024 like, ‘Have you guys seen our scarf?’ Then they let us back in, and boom! Reoccupied.” At press time, a baffled Miller was searching for another excuse after the Afghan people claimed they had not seen the scarf and immediately hung up on him.
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