Best shape of man’s life still pretty mediocre
REGINA – After six months following a carefully crafted diet plan, daily sessions of cardio, and periodic weight training, Regina resident Issac Gavin has become a moderately in shape man. Despite all of the hard work and thousands of dollars spent on self improvement, the best shape of Gavin’s life is still pretty mediocre by any objective standard.
“Gavin really left it all out there,” said trainer Aaron Fernandes. “He pushed himself and managed to drop eighteen pounds. That’s a huge accomplishment. Now he looks about average instead of being noticeably out of shape.”
Gavin attributes the success to tracking his caloric intake on the MyFitnessPal App and staying consistent with his exercise for over half a year. The Herculean effort put towards the weight loss has resulted in friends and coworkers saying things like ‘oh yeah I guess maybe your face does look a little slimmer now that you mention it’ and ‘you were a lot more fun back when you’d still eat carbs’.
“I am really proud of what I’ve been able to accomplish with a complete lifestyle overhaul,” said Gavin. “I mean I still don’t have any real muscle definition and I’m pretty hungry most of the time but at least I’m no longer embarrassed to take my shirt off when I’m having sex.”
Gavin noted how psychologically taxing it can be to be on a sustained fat loss plan. His trainer assured him now that he’s achieved his body transformation goal, he’ll be able to slowly start incorporating different types of food and the occasional cheat meals back into his diet. But to maintain his new ‘adequate I guess’ physique, he’ll have to keep up about 85% of the changes he’s made to his daily routine and he still can’t do a chin up on his own.
“The effort was all worth it,” said Gavin, his brow starting to sweat. “I am really happy I did this.”
Gavin’s coworkers noted that his newly okay physique was not enough to make up for his terrible personality.
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