WINNIPEG – Felines nationwide are praising humble hero cat Mr. Pringles after he bravely saved his owner, local university student Christine Pedany, from being in the bathroom alone for more than 30 seconds.
“I first noticed she was in the bathroom alone after breakfast, and I was worried right away. Normally, the second I hear her open the bathroom door I’m right there for moral support,” said Mr. Pringles, who has been described as a “guardian angel” since Ms. Pedany posted about his heroics on Instagram.
While many bystanders freeze during emergencies, Mr. Pringles sprang into action; he reports his first instinct was to stand outside the bathroom door and screech with the pain of a thousand heartbreaks.
“When mother didn’t immediately rush out to comfort me, my brain went through all the worst case scenarios – what if she passed out? Or the ceiling caved in? Or she got stuck in one of those magical boxes taped on the floor?” he recounted, pausing to lick his courageous little belly. Mr. Pringles then fit his paw under the door and waved his claws around like a murderer in a slasher film, to let Ms. Pedany know help was on its way.
“In a moment of divine inspiration, I started clawing at the door,” continued Mr. Pringles. “Really went to town, splinters flying. It’s true what they say – when someone you love is in danger, you find strength you didn’t know you had.”
Ms. Pedany, fearing for her damage deposit, finally managed to shuffle over to open the door with her pants around her ankles and butthole clenched. It turns out she was trapped on the toilet by an emergency: the three Boston cream donuts she’d UberEats’ed in for breakfast that morning, despite being lactose intolerant.
Upon entering the bathroom, Mr. Pringles did a quick perimeter check, drank from the leaky bathtub faucet, and then fell asleep on Ms. Pedany’s lap while she was still on the toilet.
When asked for a comment, Ms. Pedany offered, “Yeah… I posted this because I thought it was a funny story about my cat being annoying. But then Catstagram found it and now Mr. Pringles has a sponsorship deal with that skinny tea the Kardashians use.”
Jesus Christ is King
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