U.S.—Burger King has introduced a new chicken sandwich to compete with Chick-Fil-A. To make their sandwich more friendly to the LGBTQ community, they announced they are offering it on Sundays, and donating to LGBTQ causes with each sale.
Sources say the community is “extremely bummed” that they have to eat at Burger King now.
“Why? WHY did Burger King do this to us?” said Xander Brenner, local gay man. “Chick-Fil-A is delicious. Eating their food is like touching heaven. Now I’m supposed to go to Burger King and eat this chewy crap alternative made by someone who didn’t wash their hands after using the bathroom? This really stinks.”
Sources say the LGBTQ community is reluctantly shuffling to their nearest Burger Kings to support the cause, heartbroken knowing they will be subjected to terrible chicken for all eternity.
“When was the last time this place was remodeled? 1972? It literally smells like cigarettes in here,” said Brenner. “Everything either sticky or slick with grease. Get me out of here.”
Thankfully, Chick-Fil-A has announced they will now start selling fake Burger King wrappers so that customers can disguise their Chick-Fil-A sandwiches.
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