NEW YORK—Expressing discontentment at the total takeover of the month-long celebration, local man Drew Barrington was reportedly frustrated Tuesday that Pride had been completely co-opted by the LGBTQ community. “I’m just trying to have a nice time with my family, watch some special streaming categories, maybe enjoy a couple of rainbow-colored items from a local store, but these days Pride seems to be all about gay, trans, and queer individuals coming together to celebrate their identity,” said Barrington, confirming that the group of people pushing back against their history of oppression with a festival of self-affirmation was interfering with his plans to buy a tie-dyed “Ally” shirt from Target and enjoy a specialty Starbucks drink. “This month is supposed to be an inclusive event for all of us to have some fun, not just celebrate the groups that founded and championed it to fight against the social stigma of their very existence.” At press time, Barrington took some comfort in the knowledge that he could still use the month to educate himself about all the latest products and upcoming deals.
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