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Doctor Not Going To Ruin Woman’s Day By Telling Her She Pregnant

Illustration for article titled Doctor Not Going To Ruin Woman’s Day By Telling Her She Pregnant

LAWTON, OK—Stating that the woman was in perfectly fine health and that she saw no reason to spoil the otherwise good news, local doctor Samantha Timmons confirmed Monday she had decided not to ruin her patient Jenna Malvern’s day by informing her she was pregnant. “She came in here so upbeat—glowing, even—and I’d hate to throw cold water on that by mentioning her pregnancy test came back positive,” Dr. Timmons said of the 21-year-old woman well into her first trimester, explaining that there were many factors to contemplate when determining the right course of action to take with a patient, and that it was always important to consider a person’s overall wellness. “Sometimes ignorance is bliss in these situations. She’ll figure it out for herself soon enough, so why take away from this person one of the last happy days she has between now and then? That’s the last thing she needs right now.” Dr. Timmons went on to add that regardless of what kind of day Malvern was having, she still felt it was appropriate to tell the patient she really ought to try losing some weight.

The Onion

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