Jesus' Coming Back

Existential Crisis Narrowly Avoided With Timely Burrito

SPARTANBURG, SC—Local man Tim Buchanan thought his life was coming unraveled yesterday; but it turned out he was just really, really hungry.

Tim was naturally introspective and prone to fits of doubt but had steadily maintained his belief in God since coming to believe in Him as a teenager. Yesterday though, everything in the universe seemed to be pointing against the existence of a loving Creator. For starters, his daughter had woken him up at 5:15 because they had run out of bananas. Why didn’t they ever wake up their Mom instead?

Tim groggily checked his phone, and his buddy without kids had texted him a picture from their Cabo vacation. Between work, church and kids, Tim hadn’t even seen a movie in the past year. What was he even doing with his life? His phone rang– emergency at  work– and he dashed to the car, forgetting to grab a granola bar. After all those of years of school and piling up debt, Tim still was the low man on the ladder at work. It just wasn’t fair. What was it all for?

He got a message from his wife on the way to work asking him to try to make it home on time that night, she needed him to take care of something. Why was everything up to him?? 

As work drug on through the morning, the dread crept in. What’s the meaning of any of this???

Tim was nearing the edge of despair when he realized it was already past lunchtime. He ran across the street from the hospital to his favorite Mexican restaurant, and got a burrito, though he couldn’t bring himself to pray before the meal.

Three bites in, Tim remembered what a gift from God their child was. Two bites later, he remembered that instead of vacations, he had spent countless afternoons at the park playing with his beautiful daughter and wife. Four more bites, and he remembered how much it meant to him to get to be able to provide for his family. As he finished the last bite, he remembered how he wouldn’t trade being the one to care for his family for anything.

“Thanks, God. Thanks for that burrito,” whispered Tim as he ran back to work.


Babylon Bee

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