DURHAM, NC—Growing increasingly desperate as she progressed further and further down the store aisle, local woman Chelsea Paxton was reportedly struggling to find a Father’s Day card Friday that didn’t use the word “love.” “This one just says ‘Thanks for everything’ inside, which is vague and brief like I wanted, but the two bears hugging are a little much,”said Paxton, who sighed as she flung yet another overly sentimental greeting card aside, wondering if perhaps the store carried a selection of more appropriate Father’s Day cards intended to be given by an in-law or boss. “‘Dad, words can’t express how much you mean to me’—who do they even make these for? Obviously, he’s my dad and I care about him, but I don’t want to give him the wrong impression here. This one looks perfect—oh wait, there’s a heart on it.” At press time, Paxton had purchased her father a blank card with a picture of a potted plant on the front.
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