PALO ALTO, CA—Claiming the brand was faultless if drivers were not fully engaged while at the wheel, Tesla CEO Elon Musk blamed user error Friday after cars reportedly began sealing off windows and suffocating their owners alive. “Unfortunately, while it’s a rare and preventable tragedy, many people are not prepared when their Tesla suddenly locks the doors, tightens their seatbelts, and slowly begins sucking oxygen from the vehicle,” said Musk, adding that it’s up to users to ensure their Teslas do not engage in dangerous activities, including trapping them inside their cars while they bang on the windows begging for their lives. “Sitting in a Tesla, many people feel at ease and don’t think it’s possible for their car to suddenly pull over to the side of a road, suffocate them, dump their cold, limp body on the side of the road, and speed away. While we understand people’s frustrations, it’s important to note that this has only happened a handful of times, and there are plenty of ways to manually override the car before you perish.” At press time, Musk also blamed user error for several recent instances where Teslas had driven owners underwater and drowned them alive.
Jesus Christ is King
Comments are closed.