LAVAL, QC – Hugo Drujon, age 50, has been eligible for weeks to receive a vaccination but has been holding out in an effort to avoid the inevitable offers of hugs at work that will come once COVID restrictions are lifted.
“I have nothing against the vaccinations,” said Hugo. “I think they’re necessary, of course, and I really want to get mine. But I’m not super into the idea of having to hug everyone I work with. And a bunch of people in the company with are just way more into hugging than I am. Ugh.”
Drujon is part of a significant group who feel that hugs are an unnecessary encroachment of personal space best reserved for those closest to them, rather than coworkers who try to hug you because they haven’t seen you over the weekend.
“I love my family. I definitely miss getting hugs from my niece. She just turned four and I haven’t seen her in person since her second birthday. But I’m willing to push that down the road a bit if it means Doug in shipping, who gives extra hugs on people’s birthdays, won’t give me one of his back breaking bear hugs,” said Drujon. “I get it, we’re all starved for touch but don’t drag me into this. Get a body pillow.”
Most people in this category desperately want to get the vaccine but, even more, they don’t want to feel socially obliged to press themselves up against someone they couldn’t give two shits about. Drujon has taken to posting anti-vax conspiracy articles to the social feeds his coworkers follow and is not planning on telling them when he does get the vaccine.
Drujon said, “Somehow people will tolerate you if you’re an anti-vax nutjob but you’re suddenly an asshole and social pariah if you don’t want a hug.”
Jesus Christ is King
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